A diatribe on cleaning and laundry

Housework is a futile task.

The dusting

What is the point? I go through with my Pledge and an old, holey socks spraying and wiping to ensure I've gotten every last spec. I carefully dust all the tchotchkes, working from the top down so as not to spread any more dust on already cleaned surfaces.

It takes about three hours, mostly because I get distracted putting away everything that has been left atop tables and counters attempting to find the surfaces that need dusting.

Once I finish, I go back to the living room to enjoy my dust-free home only to find that the black TV has attracted every dust spec that was launched into the air by my dusting. Or my husband has opened the windows during Santa Ana winds and in comes every small bit of dirt that's been carried to Oxnard from Bakersfield.

Oh, and all that stuff I put away to get to the tabletops? It's already been replaced by the day's newspaper and mail. When the kids come home, homework is added to the pile along with school notifications and my eldest's books and drawings. When the husband gets home, he adds every scrap of paper on which he's ever written a note to himself and every receipt he's collected during the day.

The Dishes

We eat three times a day. There are four of us. Sometimes, we have snacks. I like to cook. I like to bake. I have two boys.

All this generates a ton of dishes. I'm really glad we installed a dishwasher when we remodeled. I have very few dishes that can't go in the dishwasher now, just all my pots and pans and bakeware.

Grocery shopping

See Above.

I used to go shopping once a week, at one grocery store, when I could squeeze it in between laundry and picking up the house and all the other weekend errands. Now that I'm not working and the budget is a lot tighter, I go shopping three to four times a week. Mostly because I shop at all three big grocery chains, looking for the best deals and stocking up.

On Wednesday's after the mail comes, I sit down with the ads and comparison shop, making lists for each store. Then, I go through all the coupons I've clipped from the newspaper and printed from online coupon clubs and figure out which ones I'm using at which store.

I then fit the grocery shopping in between picking up the kids and other errands. It works out pretty well, especially since we run out of milk at least twice a week. After all, my refrigerator only holds two gallons plus the assorted juices and such.

I try to hit the farmer's markets on the weekends if I can, too.

The laundry

I used to squeeze laundry in on the weekends in between grocery shopping, errands and everything else that couldn't get done while I was working full time. Weekends had become chore days instead of fun days. I'm sure many can relate.

Now I do laundry during the week. By Friday night, all the laundry is done, folded and, well, sitting in the laundry room waiting to be put away. How is it that by Sunday night, there's at least three loads to be done?

There are only four people in my family, But there are PJs, underclothes, swimming towels and suits after swimming lessons. T-ball jersey and pants, jeans and long sleeves from the morning when it's cool, shorts and T-shirts from the hotter afternoons, dirty clothes from gardening, sheets from when the little one wet the bed and their accompanying blankets and wet PJs, kitchen towels from God-only-knows what mess and that shirt that just must be washed before Monday morning for school.

I think I might have been better off when I was working. Expectations were lower.

Now on to vacuuming

*Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer* My husband does the vacuuming in our house, but I still think it's futile. *Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer*

The goal is to vacuum at least three times a week. The reality is that we're lucky if we get it done once a week. Like the table tops, it takes twice as long because all the toys, newspapers, DVD cases and, well, crap, has to be moved first.

He vacuum's the entire house from one end to the other. Then I go back and to dust the wood floors.

There are two areas of our house where dust bunnies hold what must be state conventions. There's the corner of the dining room right beneath the china cabinet where no dust mop or Swiffer will reach. It must be done on hands and knees. Then there's the corner of the entryway, beneath the catch-all chair that contains every backpack and jacket we've ever owned in our lifetime. Yes, there's a closet, but why hang things up when you're just gonna use it again?

Once that's done, there's the kitchen floor.

*Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer* This, too is my husband's futile responsibility, mostly because he drops as many crumbs as the boys. *Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer*

I love the smell of a freshly mopped kitchen floor. As soon as that floor is dry, though, here come the crumbs. I have a 3-year-old after all. He tries to help by taking his dishes to the kitchen. Unfortunately, he hasn't figured out that you have to hold the plate upright, not dump the crumbs on the floor in transit. I thought the point of having a dog was so she would get all the crumbs. Apparently, some just aren't up to snuff.

Then there's the occasional flying pieces of chopped vegetables that seem to have a life of their own. I like to bake, too, so there's always a thin dusting of flour somewhere, no matter how much I try to clean up.

By the time I've made dinner and spread my vegetables about, the toys, books, papers and DVD cases are, once again, all over the living room floor.

Now the Bathrooms

*Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer* I gave up cleaning the bathrooms when our oldest started potty training. I sit, therefore I don't spray. Thus, I am not responsible for that mess. *Disclaimer*Disclaimer* Disclaimer*

The above statement pretty much explains it. As soon as it's cleaned, I take a nice, long bath and enjoy the lemon fresh scent. About 20 minutes later, it's time to start over. Someone's had an accident, someone's filled the tub with mud after digging worms in the backyard, someone's aim is off.

The mess never used to bother me quite this much. I'm pretty much sure I know what changed. Now that I'm not out of the house 40-plus hours a week, I have to look at it, live with it, breathe it. When I was working, it was easier to ignore.

I used to only clean for company or special occasions, now I clean to remain sane and somewhat organized.

Housework is more futile than ever!