Farewell my furry friend

I've been hibernating lately.

Sometimes, you just have to disappear for a while.

We had to put Dizzy to sleep on June 9, and I've been nursing a bit of depression. I find myself missing the darnedest things - the exact things she did that drove me crazy, such as snorting in the middle of the night to let us know she needed to go out, despite the fact that there is a doggie door and she could let herself out. I also miss her hanging out underfoot in the kitchen and eating anything and everything that fell on the floor.

There are a lot more crumbs under Morgan's chair than there had been before, and I find myself sweeping and mopping in the kitchen more often, too, always with Dizzy in mind.

We finally broke down and put her food and water bowls away. We washed her bed and stored it in case we get another dog someday.

I took the boys to the dog pound this week to see what options there were, but none of us seemed too eager to find another dog just yet. I think I just wanted to go to hear the barking.

When Toto died last year, it was a little easier. We didn't love him any less, but we had Dizzy to transfer that love to and to remind us of him. Now, with her gone, it's like we're grieving for both of them.

Our oldest son, Gabriel, went with us to Anacapa Animal Hospital. He wanted to be there to tell her goodbye. I was proud of him for wanting to show her how much he loved her by being there. He took it really hard, but knows it was for the best. After he said goodbye, he waited in the lobby with Eric.

I stayed with Dizzy. She went to sleep in my arms.

The staff at Anacapa made a paw print for us. I plan to put it up on the TV with a picture of Dizzy right next to the one of Toto.

Morgan, who was at the baby sitter's house that day, was quite upset when he realized we forgot to take Dizzy's bed with us. That's when I decided I really needed to remove it from it's homey spot right in front of the fireplace.

Morgan asked me the other day when she was going to come home. We told him Dizzy is playing with Toto and is in a much better place. He's made the connection and knows she died now, but he still misses her - so do the rest of us.